For the past year, I’ve been trying to get Flash Meridian to the Planet Olo via the spaceship in my brain. I’ve had a couple of weeks off from school over the holidays, and I wrote feverishly while I didn’t have weekly assignments weighing on my mind. A new year started today, and Flash’s visit to Olo is over. Now I feel a little bit lost. Maybe that’s an appropriate way to feel on New Year’s Day.
The journey of 2011 was cathartic for me, bringing some difficult times back to the forefront of my memory. But rather than a vague sense of lies and injustices, I now feel compassion, as Flash did, for those who are hurt or are lost, and even those who try to control others in the name of love.
While I can not change anyone, I can learn to fit pieces together and make sense of reality. I can question things and make up my mind based on evidence, waking every day to learn something I never knew before… about myself, about the world I live in, and about what it all means to me.
It is so unlikely that I would be here, whirling through space on this dynamic planet, aware of my own unlikelihood. But here I am, contemplating history and dreaming of the future.
I string words together in an attempt to express something the way I string brushstrokes together on canvas or talk one on one with a friend.
I think life is so beautiful, and also so sad. Sad and happy at the same time.
If we want to be happy, we have to learn to feel every other emotion. That’s how we can tell the difference. Besides, our emotions deceive us. So often, we think bad things are happening, only to see the incredible gift in it later.
In school, I tend to compare myself with others, thinking everyone else is doing better than me. But everyone struggles. You can never know the secret insecurities that others face. Nor are we necessarily a good judge of our own progress.
So my advice to me is to lighten up! Do the best you can. Ask for help when you need it. Enjoy your brief time on this beautiful planet. Love yourself. Forgive others. Have a great year.